Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
