you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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