you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
