This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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