Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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