last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
