Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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