I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
