WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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