My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
