these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
