Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
