the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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