You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
