it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
