I just cut my nipple shaving
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
