I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
