That's intense
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
