Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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