you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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