They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
