the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize