That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
