No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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