ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
