You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
