Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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