Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
