well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
why do cheetos always look like penises
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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