If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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