Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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