I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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