i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize