Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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