I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
