Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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