Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
