Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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