I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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