just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
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sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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