you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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