Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
