My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
