i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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