So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
