I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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