That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
