I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
