Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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