Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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