I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
