did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize