Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize