normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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