their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
