I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
