He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
