I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
