you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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