These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
